Being a mother is a great task, being a parent is itself a huge task, but all the more the tough one is to be the child. Yes, you heard me right.. Being a child is indeed a tough task. Do you know why? All we see is, a child enjoying whatever the parents say, or maybe throwing some tantrums at times. As they begin to grow up, the depiction of tantrums varies, invariably in a way that it is struggling to be a parent as well. Parents become much more pressurizing when it comes to choices of their child, be it food, dress, their taste in anything and everything even when it comes to choosing friends. The thing parents don’t realize is that this is how they learn life, it cannot be spoon-fed. Life is all about making the wrong choices and fixing them or maybe living with them until we realize it. It is hard, we cant just smoothen the edges and show it to the child to make it livable. Be it marriage, life choices or career, we all tend to learn it in a difficult way. Forcing a parent’s wishes on the child is like destroying their wishes, manipulating their choices indirectly indicating that their choices are utterly stupid. In this busy world, parents hardly realize what is going on in a child’s mind.. they hardly talk and get to know it, making it all the vaguer. If you want to help your child, stop imposing your thoughts on them, Give them time ( their own time), they will be fine. Like waiting patiently for them to take the first steps to walk, appreciating the time they take and encouraging them in every step. Remember you can’t live their life, they have to do it on their own. Be their backbone, their nurturer and a true well-wisher. Be the Parent.
Some mornings are like “the thought struck” ones for me. When we are n our breakfast table…and me, as usual, making hot dosas for kids n him..we all discuss something or the other… it’s our favourite thing to do when we are together. Today’s topic was my daughter’s stubborn things. I love the way..(at times, yea i am a vulnerable mom) she tells me..to do things that i like. She tells me why can’t i do things that i love…and stop bothering about what others say. I do not know …whether should i be proud of it…or not. I don’t mind someone judging me on it too. I told her. it’s good that she has lil stubbornness in her nature..as i have seen only those people who have such nature survive. I always ensure that she can follow what she feels is right..maybe she might make mistake..or she might succeed. My job is not to protect her all the time..but to be with her all the time whatever she takes up. Let’s see what life will show us and take us into. But yea… Some conversation with my kids. Brings back the essence of life. It gives a different meaning to my life. Helps me weigh exactly what I want.
I always enjoyed cooking and serving not because i felt entitled to cook for my family…as a woman but just because i enjoyed my family savoring the food i served them. It was never exhausting for me to cook multiple Dishes or continuously stand making hot dosas and serving them to their plates. Cooking was like my space which i enjoyed always…like i enjoyed eating.
It’s the same joy i wanna share with my kids and not make them learn or get a notion that..cooking is an entitled thing for women in the house. I tell my daughters that it’s always better to learn cooking. At least when u want you to need not depend on anyone. I am just making them independent. Teaching them to survive on their own. And being themselves…like strong women who need no dependencies. When they come to help me, i enjoy it as they enjoy it and that keeps me happy. I can see the joy on their faces always….be it just mixing salads. Or even making noodles….on their own. I always believe in making girls independent..in one way or the other. And i still believe that cooking is no less a thing to do at home. … .. BeingMomisAbliss #beingmom #raisingstronggirls #beingamom #motheroftwogirls #independent #selflearn #womanpower
Everyone wants to stand out and show they are the best in everyone’s eyes. But why? I wonder why we are so obsessed to show we are so good. Why are so squeamish to show that we all have an imperfect side too. Life is not just about being perfect, but imperfections too. A baby doesn’t right way start walking as soon as it is born, it needs to stumble its way towards walking right. We all have moments of hiccups that do hurt us and others around us. Yea !! Life is never easy. From day one, we are born on earth, even though we are unaware then, others want us to be perfect. Have a perfect shape of head, beautiful eyes, smile a little hair enough to clip in some fancy clips… a perfect length even though we are just a baby to wear a dress from the latest design. This again continues as we grow up. A perfect score, a perfect school an blah blah an blah. We hardly realize that the more perfect things we try to bring together, we forget the imperfections we have to we tend to hide them. We are so obsessed that we literally hide the pain, the sorrows, the daunting tales, and much more that make us who we are now. As portrayed in the movie #home, we just have to be what we are unafraid of when it comes to our vulnerabilities. The ones who truly love us will just accept us as who we are- the perfectly imperfect ones.
Learning languages is an asset. But the very first thing is learning our mother tongue. I might not be very good at my language since i was not too eager then as a child..but eventually, as i grew up. (yea almost in my 30s) i discovered an interest in Malayalam. Still, i am way behind i know. but i ensure that my kids learn it no matter where they grow up. We all get fascinated by learning foreign languages, using foreign items…and we hardly value the native things which are also the best. I do not want their roots to be cut off but instead, their roots should be ingrained in them no matter where they go. Yea. it’s vacation time and the best time to invest time in learning something that they need for their future. I was lazier to learn in my early years, but now I feel I missed the gem. Hence I am relearning my words through teaching them and reading more and more. Things might take time but who is in a hurry. It’s just better late than never.
Since my younger one needs to learn Hindi also..she is learning the language too…gradually both the languages will be a part of her learning too. But yes I Am giving her time to digest it. My elder one..because of the little base she got while studying back with her grandma came in handy now because she can handle on her own thanx to youtube videos.
But yeah I am quite determined to teach them these, maybe slowly but yes will do. … Beingmomisabliss #motherhood #mothertongue #learninglanguages #bliss #vacationfun
Many times, i wonder are all so well educated and understanding when it comes to any girl. Being a mother to two girls now, i always feel pressured by outsiders who ask why am i not trying for another child preferably a boy. Call me ignorant or anything, i dont know how to magically create a boy child…( I guess people might have a magical formula when it comes to joining a sperm to the ovule to make a boy baby in the womb )and most importantly am not interested. I am a proud mother of two strong girls, who never stop mesmerizing me every day. I know i can guide them to be strong and content as a woman to help them distinguish what’s not right or what’s right for them. I don’t want people to come up and tell them that a job like a normal office job is enough for them to fall into a good woman’s criteria. I want them to be adventurous, passionate in what they do, and follow their heart when it comes to discovering themselves. I dont want people to come up and tell them not to be ambitious because they have children to take care of and a husband..or even parents. Life is just once, i want them to live it to the best. I hate when people come up and tell me, what i should do when it comes to my job because i want to figure it out myself. I might stumble and fall..but i do rise and walk. We, humans, have a bad tendency to ignore many things until it truly hurts, so i fall in that category of it. But no worries, i am sure i will find my way out to make a life. This is what i want my daughters to do too… I am not perfect to advise, but i will surely show whats not being perfect means too. The choice is theirs..what to do and what not to do. Being a mom is indeed difficult. But i chose to try my best. And here i am. Do you know what you should do to get your children to listen to you? ..
Nothing. Yea. Nothing. Just do your best. They follow what you do..not what you say blah blah all the time. ..
The moment i am up, from then i am playing various characters…don’t know where i am though..Now with. Lockdown, the roles are appearing multiple times, and some times i feel like i am flickering one to another and it’s like amidst the transmission errors…i lose a piece of me here and there…🙆 Mornings – Independent health-minded woman🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️ – yea.. the moment i wake up, i am the health-minded person, an independent woman who cares about herself. Next moment – as i enter the kitchen..i am the Planner 🕵️..- planning the day – just about the food…slowly transitioned into an explorer who is hunting for “what to cook ” for the day…from the jungle called fridge… Then as soon as i am done taking a walk …i become the COOK. Yea the master chef..of the house. In between i become a mom, waking up everyone in the house..serving milk and washing them up… Then again, the next role pop up – “The maid” 🧚…Here at times, i become even a monster who is scolding when they make dirty too. The roles then disappear as soon as i login for work. I become again the ” Independent Woman..”💃💃 this transformed me. Flickering between a mom and an employee…the emotional transition is hard to carry on.. still worth a try…
The journey continues.👣👣👣 I become mom, a teacher, a friend, the wife, daughter, a lover, a writer, a colleague and again…everything i explained above…
Finally at the end of the day🛌🛌🛌…when i am exhausted..i wish i could be that little girl again.🧑🧑 .
Being pregnant and giving birth was something special for me. The first time, it was quite challenging as I was completely skeptical about how I am going to manage and do things on my own..but the second time. i had my little girl who was beside me all the time to help me..and to support me. I was always thrilled to include her in everything I do for her sister. It was fun when the three of us are together from storytime to playtime or lunchtime…i had them as my companion. Let me be honest…i was never bothered about my size or weight then..because it was part and parcel of being a mom. I lazily spend my time taking rest, enjoying every cuddle with my darlings and it was indeed fun. I would hog on every food I get and yea all I can blame was a great tummy. Unlike other mommies, I was not someone who wants to get back into shape or something..because I felt I was in perfect shape..then..for me, motherhood was the best I could be blessed with. Whenever I look at them, I feel like I have given the best time to them and gained the same for myself. Having an elder one around when you are pregnant is indeed bliss…i know it is mind-boggling at times..but blame the pregnancy hormones..we become insane at times. Again parenting two kids..is also tedious..we become a referred most of the time, who forget whose side to support at times.
But overall it is indeed fun. The best time of my life. Once they grow up…i am not sure. if I will ever get them like that. So mom’s..spend your time wisely… #beingmomisabliss #throwback #memory #beingmom
When she was small..she was scared to climb on anything… I recollect the time, i had to climb along with her numerous times over the slide to get her to slide..(when i was scared to slide down too ..i have problem with heights and sudden fall ) ..but i still kept my fear at bay and went along with her….until she was comfortable to do it on her own. Every kid is different. We can’t force them to be someone else..in that way we are asking them to hate what they are … I try my best to ensure.. she doesn’t hate herself.. but come forward gradually to make a better version of herself… All i do is..tell her..even i was a failure myself.. were several instances. i did stand numb..not knowing what to do….but again.. an impulse .did make me do things that i ever wished to do once. Life is strange..in that way. I guess she is taking my lessons seriously…and hoping to explore more of her potential gradually. She may not be equivalent with others..but i don’t care..and. I dont want her to care about it.. because i am not measuring her with their scale..but her scale.
Let your child grow.. at their own pace. No hurry. You don’t have to force them to be a winner all the time..but be beside them..even when they fall. … …
Sinking on my bed .after my long day ..with my little girl playing around on my lap..like a little kitten..who is not little anymore..still taking my breath away…though. Oh. sorry Tata not the matter. As she was sliding her hands on my legs..she said..mommy, you have hairy legs. Oh, yea. I smiled. Lazy me..i thought in my mind. Immediately she showed me her legs….and told me..i too have hairy legs, mommy… Just to make me smile and feel good. But then #mommygyan clicked my brain. I told her .dont worry dear..having hair..or not having..shaving or not shaving it off..is all your choice ..dont be intimidated by your looks..because it seriously never matters to the ones who are genuine. Only beware of people who want you to follow their guidelines..and want to make you something else..which is not you at all. Stay calm let the hair grow. I remember as a teenager i never wanted to thread my eyebrows..and indeed i was like a monkey then ..never met anyone’s beauty expectations…hehe ..it was in my second year of degree i did threading of my eyebrows for the first time…I remember my mom did take me to a parlor in my eleventh or twelfth standard to get it done..and i ran off from there. We all try to impose beauty concepts on everyone..but is it the right way..? Beauty is defined as per the beholder. But again, we all need not adhere to others’ concepts..just be who you are..your worth shines out irrespective of any darkness.